Mary and Martha - A Sermon by the Rev. Tracy Anderson
Author:
July 22, 2025
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight oh Lord our strength and Our Redeemer. Amen
Is there anyone here who shares my fascination with advice columns? You know, it used to be Dear Abby and Ask Ann Landers, (who were, by the way, twin sisters in real life) and today people look to Dear Prudence, Miss Manners, and Carolyn Hax for solutions. I love reading all the different situations people find themselves in and the questions they pose to a total stranger in hopes of finding the right answer. There seems to be no end to the issues people face; problems in their love lives, problems at work, problems with family. ‘What should I do about my nosy neighbor?’ ‘Is it time to look for a new job?’ ‘Should I have said that to my mother-in-law?’ But there is one theme, mentioned in letter after letter, that seems particularly common, regardless of specifics: “They aren’t listening”. How can I get my partner to listen to me? How can I make my boss understand when he won’t listen? How can I teach my child if they refuse to hear? I just want to be heard!
We think of communication most often in terms of what we say and how we say it. But listening to others and how we listen to them is fundamental to building strong relationships, whether personal or professional. We listen to learn and we listen to connect. Those people who only want to talk but rarely want to listen have little chance of having solid relationships or successful lives. It is those who have learned the give-and-take rhythm of communication, which includes listening, who have the best chance at leading a fulfilling life, whatever changes may come.
In our gospel reading today, we hear the story of Mary and Martha, dear friends of Jesus, and the dinner they hosted for him and his disciples. Now we all know what goes into preparing for a dinner party; whether a planned, sit-down affair or a more casual burgers in the backyard kind of thing, it can involve a lot of work. You have to figure out a menu and prepare the food. You’ll probably want to do some tidying up of your home and/or yard. You get out the good china or buy the sturdy Chinet, whichever. You want to be a good host, your space welcoming and comfortable for your guests.
We see Martha working hard to do just that. In my imagination I see her scurrying from table to stove, chopping vegetables, refilling beverages, perhaps offering hor d'oeuvres, ever the attentive hostess, a woman who takes great pride in providing hospitality to others. And yet, there is still much to do and Martha, well, Martha is doing this all on her own, even though her sister, Mary, who could be helping, is doing nothing to lend a hand. And where is she? She’s sitting with the men, listening to Jesus. Martha is decidedly unhappy. Can you imagine her frustration? Can you hear the exasperation in her voice as she goes to Jesus and says to him: Jesus, this isn’t fair! I’m doing all the work while my sister just sits! Tell her to come help me!
But that isn’t what he does. Instead he says: “Oh my dear Martha, you are worried and upset over so many details. But there's only one thing worth being concerned about; Mary has discovered that and it will not be taken from her.
What was the one most important thing? She was listening to Jesus. Though there were things to be done and preparations to be made, listening to Jesus came first.
Now I've heard numerous sermons preached on this passage in my lifetime and inevitably a question is asked at some point, do you want to be a Mary or do you want to be a Martha. That always perturbs me. I don’t believe the point of this story is meant to pit Mary and Martha against each other, the “good” one and the “bad” one. In fact, I think many times Martha gets a bad rap. We label her as the one who worries and fusses, the one who is too busy. To that I say, hogwash. Martha was leaning into her strengths and gifts. I mean, honestly, who would have made that dinner party what it was, with it’s delicious food and comfortable atmosphere, had it not been for Martha. I believe Jesus recognized all that Martha was doing. I don’t think he was chastising her or devaluing her many contributions to the evening. But there was something he needed her to understand. We all have a calling on our lives, but it’s not something we can accomplish on our own. Our source of strength, our purpose and understanding come from God, and we are filled and equipped from that source only when we are connected to it, to him, a connection that comes from being willing to regularly sit quietly and listen, just as Mary was doing.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:11
This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.’ Matthew 17:5
Jesus said, ‘He who has ears to hear, let him hear.’ Mark 4:9
‘Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!’ Luke 11:28
Whoever is of God hears the words of God. John 8:47
My sheep hear my voice…and they follow me. John 10:27
Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. Romans 10:17
Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. 1 John 2:24
Beloved's, no matter what strengths we are given ,what talents or skills or abilities God may have gifted us with we still must stay connected to him in order to do the work he’s given us to do. That includes taking time to be still and listen to what God is saying. This isn’t always an easy thing to do; we’re busy people. It’s not always easy finding an environment that’s free from distractions. Often our brains try to hijack the situation, “oh you’re quiet now, so let's think about all the things we have to do and all the places we need to be…and all the things you’ve done wrong this week”. But as difficult as it may be, that can be overcome with patience and practice.
Yes, it takes practice. But just as in human relationships, we must make a commitment to listening to God if we are to deepen and strengthen our relationship with him.
Whether you’re a Mary, who already knows the vital importance of this practice, or a Martha, just discovering this powerful life force available to us, it's something we are all called to make time and space for. If our desire is, as the prayerbook puts it, “to be wholly yours, utterly dedicated unto you”, then listening to God is where we start.
Amen
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